Mares eat oats and Does eat oats

and little lambs eat ivy.

3 notes

It has been such a long, but so rewarding, year. 

Sometimes, I just have to remind myself what I’ve made it through in the last 9 months. December brought huge changes, and a lot of fear and inadequacy to overcome. And it’s like I’ve been overcoming one huge fear and inadequacy after another since then. 

It’s been scary and sometimes overwhelmingly sad. But I’ve learned how to feel things and keep walking forward anyway. How to be scared out of my mind but still do it. How to feel like my heart is caving in on itself but still write a 15 page paper and ace it. How to be so unsure of myself but still defend my own intelligence in an argument. How to cry for hours one night but still make it to class on time the next day. How to realize how temporary and fleeting life is but still enjoy it anyway.

I’ve loved it. 

And I’m not always good at it. I’m sometimes self destructive. I sometimes refuse to eat until things feel better. I sometimes play with fire a little too much. I sometimes stay in bed all day. 

But I’m constantly moving forward. And 2013 Maren would be really, really proud of 2014 Maren. I did not see any of this coming. And if I had been told what 2014 would be like, I would have come into this year kicking and screaming. But I wouldn’t take any of it back. I wouldn’t change a single thing. 

4 more months to go. What’s next? 

Filed under my life Maren starts feeling better again I'm incredible sometimes